“This can be my biggest dream come true, while also being one of the hardest things I’ve ever done…including, not loving it ALL the time.”
I’ve now been a FULL TIME Mom for almost 6 months. I use the term “full time” because before my son, Mason, I was a nanny for 10 years & am also a bonus mom to an amazing almost 12 year-old girl. While both of those experiences prepared me to be the MOM I am now, neither of then could prepare me for what is truly is like to have a living, breathing part of your heart beating outside your body.
Besides being a Mom, I’ve more specifically just survived…and partially THRIVED, through my first 4 weeks of being a SAHM – otherwise known as a “stay-at-home mom.” Seriously, this job needs to come with full-time benefits 😉
As the entire world has now gone through an entire 6 months of surviving a global pandemic, Corona hasn’t been all bad for our family. It gave me, as a first time mama, the HUGE blessing of my husband having a 5-month paternity leave. For our son’s first 5 months, he wasn’t able to visit with a lot of family & friends, or do many outside of the home activities, however, he always had Mommy & Daddy constantly around. We all got super close, cozy & have memories & a bond that’ll last a lifetime!
Now, with Daddy back to work teaching, it is just baby & Mommy at home. I knew, since I was a teenager, that when my time would come, I would want to be a stay-at-home Mom. My own mom stayed at home with me (while working her Mary Kay Beauty business on the side) for the first 8 years of my life. I feel SO much of the strong, independent, loving & friendly woman I am today stems from that constant nurturing time with my Mom at home.
At the beginning of this time, I was all kinds of excited – but also nervous & curious of how it would go. I’ve had SO much experience with kids on my own before – however, this was about to be 5 days a week, 8-10 hrs a day, balance between baby, household & my online coaching business.
COULD I DO IT? I hoped so. I knew God would be my strength. And coffee. And workouts. Lots of them!
Looking back over these 4 weeks at home, I’ve realised that I learned as much about motherhood, as I did about myself. I got to see myself rise amongst the ashes & crumble beneath the weariness of defeat.
AS IS ALL OF LIFE, RIGHT?! It’s not a PERFECT JOURNEY. We aren’t always ALL smiles. We don’t always LOVE every moment of every day. In the end, it truly is the challenge – the obstacle that is the way through. Instead of avoiding the hard moments, I embraced them.
I owned the fact that his can be my biggest dream come true, while also being one of the hardest things I’ve ever done…including, not loving it ALL the time.
Our son is SPRINTING from LEAP TO LEAP. He’s been sitting up since 4 months old and now is almost crawling. When one big growth spurt ends, another one is beginning. It sometimes feels as if we have no time to catch our breathe – but, neither does HE.
I don’t always love when he gets frustrated at himself and makes a fuss.
I don’t particularly like when he throws his food around & cries when it doesn’t get there fast enough.
I find it a challenge when he fights me going to sleep, and throws all his long limbs, especially when he is overtired.
However, I know, I am his calm in the storm. He looks to ME for PEACE. For serenity. And sometimes, I cry. But most the time, I RISE above. I pray through it, and remind myself, this too shall pass.
I DO always love the moments he shows his growing sense of humour & makes me luagh
I’m obsessed with how often he smiles – which is constantly!
I love seeing the child I prayed would be active like mommy -is living up to every prayer!
And I especially love, that whether it’s during the amazing moments or the especially hard & challenging moments, at the end of the day, this incredible boy is MINE. He is ours. He is not going home to someone else’s house.
He’s my special little man. And I love growing along side him. He has been once of my greatest teachers and I am thankful to my God and to my husband that we get all this time together. I know it’s a time that we both will cherish for years to come.
I LOVE being a stay at home Mama – and I know the best is only yet to come!